Welcome to the V-Spot…

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It’s interesting to take a look back at what many deem as my most controversial book to-date. Personally, I don’t find it that controversial; if anything, I think the S&M books are much more controversial (nigger bitch, anyone?) but that’s for another topic.

I fondly remember it – it was one o’clock in the morning and I just finished To Love and Obey. Donell Jones’s Where I Wanna Be came on the stereo and the idea hit me like a bolt of lightning. I ran it past my husband, Maks, and he said I should go for it. After a moment of silence, he said the following words:

“You know people are going to hate you for this, right?”

I’ve always played it safe in my life. I’m really the typical goody-goody nice girl you always hear about. In fact, if any of you personally knew me (and a few do), you wouldn’t think I’m a writer. And you definitely wouldn’t think I’m an erotica writer. Still, I don’t like playing it safe in my fiction. Drama happens in real life and drama sometimes happens to good people.

The reaction to WIWB was interesting. I had people say it wasn’t a romance but an urban fiction. I’m almost positive those same people have never read an urban fiction. I’ve had people give it a bad review because it simply reminded them of their own situations or someone they knew. I’ve had people tell me that they could predict what was going to happen in the sequel, despite me not having written a single word. Some people who cheer for Olivia and Fitz every week on Scandal, justifying their affair, slammed Eli’s and Simone’s. The same people…the same people…who want Mariana to cheat on her boyfriend with Scott.

Yeah, you read that right. How is one better than the other? Isn’t it still cheating? Oh, because it’s two people that they liked, it’s okay, right? Gotcha.

What saddened me about some of the negative reaction was that people were so heated about what Eli did, they failed to see the story for what it was worth – a man getting a second chance to start over. Really, it was a Coming of Age tale. There were many issues in the book – when an affair happens is it really the protagonist’s fault? What about the third party? What about the “innocent” party? The light skin-dark skin color issue that was clearly present and no one mentioned. How a parent’s actions can affect a child’s life much beyond their elementary years. How a wife can push her husband away little by little. Why being the side piece isn’t what it’s cracked up to be – both male and female.

The negative reaction was interesting and honestly, quite comical. So many people were angry at me for writing a book. But…they would watch this very story in movie theaters (Unfaithful, Temptation, Fatal Attraction, etc). They would watch this on TV (Scandal). They would watch this on trashy talk shows (Maury, Jerry Springer, etc.). But they don’t want to read about it.

Heh.

I still believe in my heart of hearts that the reason for the negative reaction is because I took a full-length mirror, placed it in front of you, and outlined all of your faults. Honestly, if you did that to me, I probably wouldn’t like you very much, neither.

On the contrary, many loved the book. Many praised that it was finally a real book that dealt with real issues. Many clamored and are hungry for the much-anticipated sequel due out this fall. This book is for you.

So what’s in store for Faith, Eli, and Simone? Well, quite a few things. The story picks up after Eli and Faith reconcile and Simone has moved back to Houston. Not all is kosher with the aforementioned parties. In fact, there is a lot of regret with everyone involved. A lot of tears. A lot of fighting. A lot of ‘What ifs?.’ Darren, the star quarterback, is still in the picture. And his role might be surprising to many.

The drama really starts when Simone re-enters the picture with Elena and all hell breaks loose. Many things are different – Eli is richer and more famous. Things between him and Faith are stable and stronger than ever. A lot more is at stake. Simone’s timing couldn’t have come at a worse time.

Expect guest appearances from the S&M characters – Scott, Mariana, and Sanora. 

And there you have it,

-V.

It’s always fun to create a new heroine. I usually like to base her on someone I know or gather parts of people I know. Sometimes I use a name of a good friend or borrow someone’s name that is pretty exotic (Nikkia, Liane, Zerrin, etc.).

Enter Alyssa.

Alyssa McHale is not your typical heroine. She may come off as a bitch but really, she’s just guarded. I guess her male counterpart would be Scott Reed without the BDSM. She doesn’t have the typical long, flowing hair that so many heroines seem to have. Nah, this sista rocks her natural locs. She’s also a vegan.

Yeah. Vegan. Not a typo.

She’s the first vegan heroine I have written. I’ve noticed in a lot of romance fiction, the heroine is assumed to be a meat eater. I don’t think I’ve ever read a vegetarian heroine, come to think of it. Anyway, back to Alyssa. She’s based on someone I know – a good friend, Natalie. At first I wasn’t going to write a heroine who was vegan or make her vegan lifestyle a key part of the story. Then I thought about it – if this is her, why wouldn’t this be a major part of her story? If I were a vegan, I would think everyone would know about it and respect my way of life.

It’s interesting doing research on a Black vegan. I found a few blogs (Thug Kitchen is pretty entertaining if you want to take a peek and BlackVeggieVegan is also another good source) and follow a few people on twitter. But there’s not a lot of resources for a Black person to research the vegan lifestyle if they choose to go down that path. And I’m not talking just clothing and food but also hair care. Needless to say, I have my work cut out for me.

In terms of Alyssa’s looks, I actually had one person in mind when I write her. I’m trying to imagine her with locs -

Gabrielle-Union-1432

Ryan’s character was a little easier to figure out:

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That’s Scott Eastwood, as in Clint Eastwood’s son.

The yet-to-be titled fic should be out sometime in July, hopefully. As with all fiction, this book is estimated to be around 50K words and will be priced somewhere between $3.99 and $4.59.

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Caliente was Jackson’s temper. Cream was his acute business sense. Vanilla was his innocence and lost childhood. Angel was his observation and eyes.

Then there was Liane. She was Jackson.

Cream and Vanilla trained her. Caliente rolled her eyes and scoffed at her. Liane came to find out it was a typical trait of Caliente. She simply didn’t like anyone.

The notebook of sin, she coined it, was full of what was expected of her. Weight limit and dress code were just the simple things. The more ridiculous demands—hairstyles had to be approved, all phone calls went to Jackson, and he had to know of her whereabouts at all times—solidified Liane’s case that Jackson was a pimp. All she needed was the smoking gun—going on a date with a john and servicing him afterward. Jackson would be brought to his knees in record time.

Then a stupid thing happened—she slept with Jackson.

It wasn’t by choice. Eve warned her every girl had to do it and Sienna wasn’t going to be an exception. Fine, she could handle sleeping with Jackson. She’d done it before on various missions, even going as far as slapping handcuffs on a perp just as he climaxed. Liane truly did not give two fucks.

Then there was Jackson.

He took her out to dinner, probably the same restaurant he’d used for all of the other girls. Over dinner, Jackson was charming and wonderful. They had a lot in common, rooting for the same sport teams and talking about horrible calls the refs made in past games. They’d read the same books and Liane was impressed by how well read Jackson was. While other people quoted Shakespeare, Jackson quoted Capote and Wilde. He boasted of his jazz collection that mimicked his wide whiskey and bourbon assortment.

He smiled a lot, showcasing his perfect white teeth. His blue eyes sparkled whenever he told little anecdotes about his past. His laugh was hearty and incredibly sexy. His simple outfit of a mock turtleneck sweater and jeans barely covered his muscular frame and broad shoulders. The way he walked, with a swagger and confidence that indicated he was quite comfortable with himself, implied any woman who was with him should feel privileged.

He was a walking, talking, breathing Ken doll.

He made no promises. He didn’t guarantee anything. He made Liane feel as if everything was her choice and her choice only. It was really easy to see why the other girls—Angela included—trusted Jackson. He wasn’t intimidating. He treated the servers as if they were long-lost friends.

He was every woman’s romance novel fantasy.

The first time they made love started out simply enough. She was watching TV in the living room when he decided to join her. At first, they were on separate ends of the sofa. Whenever Jackson briefly left, he returned to the sofa, sitting just a little closer to Liane. The last time he‘d returned, he was right next to her, cuddling with her.

Soon they were making out like horny teenagers. Liane’s shirt came off, then her bra, along with the rest of her clothing, then Jackson’s shirt and his pants. A condom was quickly found and rolled onto Jackson’s cock and he quickly entered Liane’s tight channel. They moved together as one, staring into each other’s eyes, daring each other to fuck harder and faster.

Jackson was insatiable and animalistic, pounding into Liane as if his life depended on it. His tongue alone brought her to orgasm several times and when she thought she couldn’t do it anymore, he showed her she could.

When Liane went down on Jackson, she showed him she was no rookie as her tongue twirled around his thick shaft and suckled on the large mushroom tip. Jackson climaxed in seemingly record time and couldn’t wait to sample Liane once again to show his appreciation.

He branded her with that nickname when she demonstrated how flexible she was. Her body became alive and willing with him, as if she had been waiting for him all her life. All of those ballet classes when she was younger and yoga sessions as she became an adult made her body incredibly lithe and flexible; able contort into different and illicit positions just for Jackson’s pleasure.

They made love throughout the weekend, only breaking for food and occasional sleep and rest. They spent the rest of the time christening the home: his shower, Jacuzzi, and in the pool.

That was a couple of days ago.

She officially moved into his bedroom and had to fight off the jealousy of the other girls. Caliente sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. Vanilla wanted to be instant best friends. Eve was cordial. Liane simply smiled. She would be long gone by the end of the week; Jackson’s business would shut down, and he would be sent off to a prison to become the pride and joy of a sexually starved inmate.

It was simple enough. Then Liane did a stupid thing—she fell for Jackson.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

****

The full book of Daddy’s Angel is currently available on Amazon, Smashwords, and All Romance. It’ll be on Barnes & Noble this week. The print version will be out later next month.

Being a writer is tough. And it’s certainly not for everyone.

You need a thick skin. You also need to learn how to ignore.

But sometimes when things are so obvious and blatant, it makes you wonder and question why you even bother.

For the first time in my writing career, I’ve experienced something rather unique – when a story sells well, but there are no reviews.

None. Zilch. Zero.

The book in question is the full book to Daddy’s Angel. There are reviews now, thanks to some loyal readers, but for a full 24-hours, there weren’t any. Normally I would chalk it up to being an odd occurrence, however, the last couple of books I’ve released had the same reaction; those books being All I’ve Ever Wanted and I Need You.

I don’t write very long books.

So I had to take myself out of the equation and really think about what is my true purpose of being an author – is it the storytelling? Is it the glory?

My books have never been big on reviews for whatever reason. The sales surpass the reviews and one could never tell that. In fact, my biggest selling story is not the S&M series but To Love and Obey. Yet, it only has 44 reviews on Amazon, along with reviews from some well-respected book blogs.

Yet, I find myself in a predicament…should I continue to slave over a story and characters just to meet with a resounding silence?

Let’s put it in another way – reviews generate sales and feedback. If a story does well, it makes me start writing another story, then another, and you get the idea. So if a story doesn’t do well, I can chalk it up to it just being that story and continue with another one. But if the reviews are slow coming in, or worse yet, none at all, I have no desire to write another.

Which brings us to S&M IV…

In the full version of Daddy’s Angel, I included a hidden (well, not so much anymore) sneak peek of S&M IV since three characters of the book appear in Daddy’s Angel (those who have read the story know who I’m talking about). I was excited, very excited and hoped that the feedback would drive me to finally finish IV and release it this fall instead of Christmas.

Oh how naïve I was.

I’ve noticed something – if I do something that many considered to be “wrong”, I will never hear the end of it (see Where I Wanna Be for an example). If I do something right, it’s silence. I don’t know why that is but I know it’s always been that way despite how hard I’ve tried to change it.

So what does this mean for S&M IV or any future books? I don’t know, to be honest. I need to take a few days and really reevaluate why I’m writing. Do I really want to write for a silent audience? Do I want to cater to a passive-aggressive audience? Do I want to write for the love of writing? Am I really okay receiving paltry reviews? Am I really okay with people giving me their silence and secret support but not open and vocal?

Do I really want to put my blood, sweat, and tears into IV…just to receive NO feedback at all? Because we all know, I will receive no reviews for that book if the past is any indication.

That’s where I’m at right now. I’m at a crossroads.

I’ll release the other books I’ve been working on with little to no fanfare. It’ll simply be a case of you’re on Amazon (or other sites) and see that I dropped a book.

So that’s it, really. I’m perfectly okay with how things ended with Scott and Mariana in I Need You.

And there you have it,

-V.

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Angela walked over to the bed and collapsed on it. She managed to kick off her heels and swore she would never wear heels again as long as she lived. She also made another silent note to listen to Enzo when he’d advised her to wear comfortable shoes. Had she known he was going to make her walk, seemingly to the core of the Earth and back, she would’ve brought her flats.

They walked around the museum and learned about the history of the island. They went on a food tasting, experiencing exquisite dishes that satisfied her palate. They watched the dolphins on another tour before heading back to the yacht.

She felt the bed move and didn’t turn to see Enzo lying next to her. She heard him take a large breath and he wrapped his arms around her. It was crazy to Angela how quickly she’d gotten used to Enzo’s embrace, as if she was waiting for it her entire life. No other man, or john for that matter, made her feel like she was the only girl in the world. Now Enzo made her feel like a queen tenfold.

She deeply inhaled his scent of musk, earth, and wood. His body, his soul, his entire being was pure raw sexuality and he proudly wore it. He had a confidence that was undeniably sexy, and as a result, she began to feel more self-assurance. Maybe Enzo was what she’d needed in her life all along.

He was definitely what she wanted.

Angela snuggled her body against his and felt his soft breath against the nape of her neck. She closed her eyes and exhaled again, letting go of just everything in her life—her past, Jackson, and worries about the future. Enzo said to trust him and it wasn’t a suggestion but a direct order. Angela decided she wasn’t going to question Enzo on anything any longer. Either she trusted him or she didn’t, simple as that.

She turned towards him and rolled over until she was straddling him. Enzo slowly opened his eyes and glanced up at Angela with a knowing smirk.

“Unless you’re too tired…” She began.

Enzo reached up and began to unbutton Angela’s sundress, exposing her lacy white bra. “I’ll always be hungry for you.”

****

Daddy’s Angel is now available on Smashwords, All Romance, and Amazon. It’ll be available on Barnes & Noble later this week.

 

So funny yet so true to say.

This week has been an interesting one in the life of Vera. I finished one story and started to write a very short one that I’ll publish soon this week. Then I started mapping out another story. Busy, busy, busy!

On the personal front, it’s been pretty spectacular – Yoda said his first word:

Mama. <3

It’s really cool when your kid does something pretty monumental; things we all take for granted on a daily basis. You know what’s equally amazing? How quick one’s memory is when it comes to a child. You see, I can barely remember what I had for dinner the other night. I can’t really recall a conversation I’ve had weeks ago. But you best believe I know the lyrics to Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes and can recite them randomly day and night.

This summer will be Vera’s Summer of Love – nothing but heartwarming and tickle your funny bone stories. I decided to leave my heavier stuff – Love and War and S&M IV for the fall/winter. You might groan me now but you will thank me later.

Next up on the plate is a story whose title I keep changing. It was titled Can’t B Good. Then I changed it A Strange Arrangement. A friend and I were flirting with ‘And This Is Why You’re Single’ as a title but it’s kinda wordy. So I’m going to need help coming up with a title.

Summary: Two one-night-stand strangers decide to start dating each other and find out they both hate and love each other.

Some of you may have read the following snippet before since I did a sneak preview in a couple of groups. Could you be a dahling and read it again and see if you could come up with a title? Best title wins a free copy.

And there you have it,

-V.

(Unedited snippet….)

“Alyssa…” Ryan stood in front of her. “I never thought I would see you again.”

Alyssa briefly closed her eyes as Ryan’s words reverberated throughout her body. She already started feeling tingly and zaps of electricity shot up and down her spine. Her thoughts immediately went to when he would murmur her name over and over as she was underneath him, writhing and pleading for him to go deeper.

“Ryan…” she returned the husky tone and cleared her throat. She nodded towards the chair in front of her. “Please?”

Ryan sat down and smiled. Damn, she looked even more beautiful than the last time – the only time – he saw her. Wearing an argyle sweater and black slacks, Alyssa’s professional look made her even more attractive and for Ryan, that was saying a lot since he had already saw her naked.

Alyssa had a sensual aura about her that couldn’t be explained other than it drove Ryan crazy and he was borderline obsessed with her – what was she into, what did she like, what type of man she wanted and if he somehow fit into her plans for a husband and family.

What?

“I never thought I would see you again.” He began, relieving his head of the crazy thoughts he just had. “To be quite honest, I didn’t think you would remember me.”

How could I forget? I was bowlegged for a few days. “I have a good memory if I say so, myself.”

“What brings you to Caffeinated? I’d never seen you around here before.”

“This,” Alyssa glanced around at the singles still participating in the event. “Not by choice.”

“Was it a successful night?” He hoped she would say no.

“It’s not really my thing. I was only here because my friends dragged me. I should’ve been home studying.”

“You’re in school?” Ryan was impressed. “What are you studying?”

“Business. I hope to open my own boutique one day.” Alyssa smiled.

“Great. I hope you succeed.” Ryan added.

Ryan’s eyes seemed to be endearing as if he meant what he said and it wasn’t a bunch of hot air being blown up Alyssa’s rear. Her heart stammered upon the realization. “Thank you.”

Ryan leaned in closer to Alyssa. “Would this be an appropriate time to ask why you suddenly left me that night?”

“I thought that’s what one-night stands do,” Alyssa offered. She didn’t consider herself to be promiscuous but she’d had her fair share of lovers to know when one overstayed their welcome in her bed. It was easier on everyone to keep morning-after conversation to an absolute minimum and part ways without much of a fight or even coffee.

“You seem awfully confident it would’ve just been an one-night stand.”

“You seem awfully confident it wouldn’t have been.” She countered back.

“Touche.” Ryan smiled. “Was I really that bad?”

Alyssa squeezed her thighs tight as warmth began to travel down south and her heart once again began palpitating. She instantly remembered as he guided her when she was on top, pulling her down to his level as he wrapped his muscular arms around her back and thrust up. He was the teacher, she was a willing student that night and she’d passed every test he’d given her. “I didn’t have a way of contacting you and we never did exchange numbers that night so…”

“Well, now you know how to contact me,” Ryan leaned back in his chair, “I’m always here.”

“I’ll be sure to visit more often then,” Alyssa replied. She held up her blended drink. “It’s great coffee you got here.”

“I’ll give you free coffee,” Ryan winked.

Ryan may have said something innocent but the gleaming light in his blue eyes implied he wanted to be the cream in Alyssa’s coffee. “I hope so,” Alyssa smiled. She looked down at her watch. She stayed longer than she’d intended at the coffee shop and a lovely evening of DVR recordings and too-hot soup was calling her name. “I need to be heading out now.”

“I want to see you again,” Ryan stated, his tone sounding more like an order than a request.

“You will,” Alyssa promised with a smile. “You will.”

****

He will not!

Alyssa slammed her freezer door shut after she grabbed a pint of vegan ice cream in anger and desperate hunger. It was two a.m. and she spent most of her night tossing and turning. Once she realized sleep wasn’t going to occur anytime soon, she began studying again. That was a fail as she remembered seeing Ryan at the coffee shop and her thoughts went from balance sheets to licking Ryan’s abs and squeezing his tight ass.

“And that’s why I’m up at two o’clock in the morning eating empty calories,” she shook her head. It had been several months since she’d seen him and she thought she finally got him out of her system. She’s had great sex before and romantic flings that dissipated into lovely memories.

But Ryan, though…he somehow got under her skin, other than the obvious. He was sexy, confident, and down-to-earth. His blonde, tussled bed head combined with his sparkling blue eyes was a dangerous combination. Figure in his muscular and taut body and thick shaft, Ryan was lethal and Alyssa never stood a chance.

I should’ve kept my black ass home that night.

She used to be carefree and open to love. That was during her virginal life and many light-years ago. Several horrible breakups and more than her fair share of assholes later, Alyssa always thought of relationships using her logical and trustworthy side (brain) and left her emotional and ‘let’s see what happens’ side at the door (heart). Every so often, a new player entered the game and just wanted to get her rocks off (loins).

Alyssa took a bite of her ice cream and groaned. She didn’t get Ryan out of her system; she simply pushed in the back of her mind and locked him up with a key, hoping he would never have to get out. Instead, Ryan busted his way through the locked door and now she knew where to find him. If it wasn’t for the fact his coffee shop had damn good coffee and she was a new fan, she would completely avoid Caffeinated.

No, she wouldn’t. Even if Caffeinated served shit coffee, Alyssa would find a reason to go back. She wouldn’t go every day because that would reek of thirstiness but she would go just enough to let Ryan know she was around and interested if he was game. They both knew he would be.

This is not good. Her thighs tingled with the thought of Ryan’s face climbing up from them, kissing her pelvic bone, then her belly button, finally nestling at her neck as he entered her. Her loins were obviously craving Ryan but the silent partner of the game was making her presence known – her heart. And it seemed logic was talking about taking a small vacation.

This was definitely not good.

 

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Daddy’s Angel II will be the full book. Somehow, I will try to market I as free though I’m not sure how I’m going to do that on Amazon.

The full book is 60K words and will be priced at $4.49.

To see who inspired me to write Jackson and Enzo, click here.

Now here is an unedited snippet. Daddy’s Angel (full book) will be out June 15th.

****

Enzo’s surprise turned out to be a private yacht in Marina del Rey, a city located not too far from Hollywood Hills. The driver dropped them off and sped off, leaving Enzo and Angela alone with a crew for the weekend.

“We’re heading to Catalina as planned,” Enzo instructed the captain in Spanish.

“Yes, Señor De Laurentiis,” The captain nodded and he instructed his crew.

Angela smiled at Enzo as he led her throughout the yacht. It was a mini-mansion on water, the only way she could possibly describe it. The yacht boasted of a master bedroom with plush white carpeting and golden drapes on the windows – each showing a different view of the ocean. It contained a mini bar and a private patio accessible only through the bedroom.

The dining area was accented by a crystal chandelier and French doors opened up to a small and private outdoor nook. It had rooming quarters for the crew of 12, a bar, small gym, two Jacuzzis, as well as a mini-Laundromat and several staterooms. Two chefs prepared all of the meals. It was no wonder the boat was named Ecstasy.

As Enzo showed her around, Angela’s jaw dropped. Every room was more exquisite and magnificent than the last one. The yacht had to have been worth well into the millions. “Is…is this yours?” Angela stared in awe.

“Oh no,” Enzo shook his head as they walked, “this belongs to one of my actor friends. He’s letting me use it for the weekend while he flew to Japan to promote his movie.”

“You have a really nice friend,” Angela commented.

“It’s the very least he could do,” Enzo winked, “I did help him with a huge payday so him letting me use his yacht and staff for free was just a small gesture.” They stopped at a door and Enzo opened it for Angela and walked inside. “Now you have two options here. If you want, this is your room for the weekend.”

The room was lovely enough with its overhead lights, cream carpeting, navy blue curtains and queen sized bed but it felt so empty and cold. Angela hoped the frown on her face wasn’t too evident. She didn’t want to sleep alone, not out of fear but with Enzo within a short distance from her. “And what is my other option?”

“Your other option,” Enzo moved closer to her and pressed his body into hers, “is to share a room with me.”

“Mmm…I think I like that option much better.” Angela wrapped her arms around his neck and met his lips. She opened her mouth and once again welcomed his tongue like a long-lost friend. She inhaled the spicy scent of his cologne and her body went limp. She felt the slick wetness forming between her thighs, compounded by the soft flitter of her clit and surrendered to him.

This was home. Enzo…was home.

She heard him moan and he soon took over the kiss, commanding his lips with hers. He picked her up and carried her to his room, a short walk down the hallway. He somehow managed to open the door and entered inside the room. He laid her down on the bed and adjusted his position so he was on top of her.

Their clothing was soon removed and Enzo didn’t waste time. Angela felt his hot mouth on one of her nipples and she arched her back in pleasure, gasping for air.  His tongue trailed down to her navel while his strong and needy hands roamed all over her body, squeezing and touching every crevice of her. He moved towards her sex and his tongue dived in, savoring and tasting her. The way her swollen nub bounced on his tongue as if her pussy was made just for him.

Angela’s legs shook as he devoured her, crying out to the heavens and silently thanking they were at sea. She came on his tongue and he didn’t stop, instead he grabbed both of her thighs and pulled her up closer to his mouth as he continued to lick her. Angela climaxed again and fell back onto the bed, delirious and spent. She’d never had back-to-back orgasms before and suddenly felt cheated that she never did.

She was gathering her breath when she heard the familiar tear of a condom packaging open. She felt her legs open again and opened her eyes to see Enzo on top of her, a sexy smirk on his lips.

He entered inside her slick wetness and Angela gasped, surprised at how thick he was and silently wondering if she would be able to accommodate. He waited for only a moment and a moment was all Angela was going to get before Enzo drove into her. He gathered her thighs once again and held them against his chest, getting deeper with each thrust.

A ball full of emotions flooded Angela all at once. Excitement. Passion. Ecstasy. Happiness. The one emotion that had long eluded her…the one she thought she would never feel again came crashing down on her.

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