Walking into the penthouse this time around is different. The air is thin. I’m a bit lightheaded but steady. My stomach is coiled up into tight knots and my legs are a bit wobbly.
Tonight, Ian wanted to practice on me. BDSM.
I’ll admit I don’t know squat about it other than what I’ve read in a few ebooks and the movie. What I do know is that when Ian tied my wrists behind my waist and fucked me from behind, I couldn’t get enough of it.
I guess a part of me liked feeling helpless as I begged him to not stop fucking me. A part of me loved relinquishing that control, exchanging the power, and submitting to him completely.
Hmm…maybe I am a submissive?
There’s not a question on whether I like it – he’s already tested the waters with spanking me and tying me up – now he wants to go further. Am I really ready for it? Can I handle it?
We just have to see. Find out on the next episode of Young, Loaded, and Kinky.
I don’t know why I’m scared. I guess it’s that weird feeling of the unknown. You want to take the first toe dip into the water to see how warm it is before you dive in. You want to see if your body can withstand the coldness of the water or it’ll be just too much.
That’s where I was – dipping my toe into a pool of the unknown.
I remove my shoes as I enter the foyer and am immediately greeted by the sounds of Teddy Pendergrass. I’m legit surprised Ian knows about him. Then again, this same man declared his love for Diary of a Mad Band so I can’t be too surprised by anything he does anymore.
I search for him, knowing he’s nearby. I don’t see him, but I feel him. I feel his energy, his presence, and his love. My eyes follow the trail of rose petals and candlelight to the open French doors leading to the wide and spacious balcony that overlooks Los Angeles.
I don’t think I can ever get used to this.
Ian slowly turns around and he’s still dressed in the same casual outfit from before. His eyes are softened to a sky blue and he pours a glass of champagne as I greet him. “Angel,” the word barely comes out as a whisper.
He wraps his arm around me and gives me a deep, bear hug. The type of hug that only your lover could give you. The type that says, ‘I’ll forever protect you and honor you.’ He looks down at me and just smiles as he mouths along to the lyrics. “You’re more beautiful than the Mona Lisa…”
I immediately take the glass and set it aside. I forcefully grab Ian by his neck and pull him down to my level. My lips are hungry for his and my tongue is anxious to play. I know he had romance in mind but sometimes a girl just needs to be fucked. And hard.
What Ian did for me tonight was just too beautiful and I’m ready to give him this work.
Not About That Life will be out the week of August 15th.