In continuation of supporting the latest S&M book, I present to you another good friend and fellow erotica/BDSM author, Ms. Areya Branxton-Chase.
Areya and I go back several years; ten, actually! So we know each other pretty well. Believe it or not, this is our first author interview together. She’s going to share a little bit about herself, what she really feels about the 50 Shades phenomenon, and why people should mind their own damn business when it comes to how she parents her daughter.
Ms. Chase…the floor is yours.
Tell us about yourself.
I’m a simple girl I think. In fact in a lot of ways, I’m pretty normal. I’m 32, mom of 1, a reader, a writer, an entrepreneur, a friend, daughter, a sister. I sell sex toys and other adult accessories and I write erotically. I can say I’m not that complex a girl.
What made you become involved with the Lifestyle?
There’s the textbook answer of I always knew I was different and in a way I did. But I was told that people of color did not do the things I like to do sexually. I was told that the lead that I wanted the men in my life to take, the amount of control I wanted to give was not conducive to a grown woman. When I found a group of my peers that replicated what I wanted I ran in head first. I wouldn’t that though.
There are different dynamics – Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, polyamorous, etc. Explain why you chose your particular one and why it’s a great fit for you.
I chose the polyamorous Master/slave dynamic. Being a collared slave is freeing to me. The boundary is the sky for us. It’s a good look that someone has the confidence to push me the beyond my comfort level but it is also scary to have someone make the decisions that would affect me the rest of my life but He does it well. I don’t want the burden of life without structure. I can admit it was hard finding a Master that was in harmony with a polyamorous heterosexual female slave…but He understood my needs to have more than one love and respected it as I respected His need for more than one slave. I don’t have to me one man’s everything I can be strong where I am strong and don’t have to worry about whether or not His needs will be met they will be, within the safety of our family…and He doesn’t have to be everything for Me though for right now He is….He’s always going to be my number 1 though and He knows that.
There is a lot of misperception of erotic humiliation. Some find degradation of a person to be a horrible act, while others find it empowering. Could you explain your experience with it? Be as detailed as possible.
There is a huge difference between erotic humiliation and erotic degradation. Erotic humiliation takes what embarrasses a person most and sure they face it, often, consistently and blatantly. Erotic degradation strips a person, it is debasing and yes it is a dark and desolate. It takes what someone is most afraid of and throws it in their line of vision at the most inopportune times. It’s scary and it’ll do one of two things…break down or break through. I have been through both…humiliation I enjoy thoroughly. Degradation left me dazed and confused and horny as hell. It’s not on the top of my list of things to do again but it made for one hell of a hot scene.
Describe your Master. For those who have never met Him, how would you describe Him?
He is tall, dark and handsome. Thick, muscular with a voice that would put Barry White and Joe Morton to shame with piercing brown eyes and incredibly sexy lips. He’s witty and intelligent, silly and confident to a fault. He has the kind of aura that makes panties wet from across the room, I call it a quiet aggression. He reminds me of a first generation vampire…silent, deadly and sexy as fuck. He’s gentle and comforting, strict and structured, demanding and talkative as hell. He has a savage tenderness I crave.
What is a typical day like in your dynamic?
Wow it depends. We have a very hectic life with four adults and multiple children, so it depends on what we have going on. We get up, we the kids together, we check our respective itineraries and report back to Him. We have our assignments for the day and we go to work. We are all working professionals. We make sure we eat as a family as often as we can as well as support our local BDSM community.
You have a young daughter who you take care of full-time. I know you’ve personally told me that some people have given you some flack for ‘exposing’ your daughter to the Lifestyle. What do you say in response?
I tell them to not stand in judgment of which they cannot conceive. If by exposing her to the lifestyle they mean I am exposing to her to a stand up man, who takes care of her, who shows her what responsible men do in terms of taking care of the family, if they mean having a house full of people who care for her, love her, honor her, help her and teach her then yeah…I think more kids could benefit from it. I think people think that we are swinging from the chandeliers every day, that is an unrealistic thought process to have. Most days, sex is the last thing on anyone’s mind when they have school, work, kids, PTA, booster club and extra curricular activities only to have to come home and get our domestic on. We are normal, we are no different than any other family with multiple people living under one roof. We expose no child to what happens in our bedroom any more than vanilla people…so don’t speak unless you know is always been my motto.
In the writing world, particularly those who write BDSM, there’s the argument based on 50 Shades of Grey, whether we should entertain or educate. Some say it’s possible to do both, while others, like myself, say you can focus on one really well and possibly sacrifice the other. Where do you stand?
We can definitely do both. The issue with 50 Shades is it is a double edged sword. The complete and utter lack of research that EL James did in terms of what it is we do cuts one way for it did NOT shed us in the best of light, it cuts the other ways because it did shed light on an underground lifestyle….we are invited to the table where we once were not even allowed in the room. We can now educate as well as entertain. I like to think I do both in my series.
I’ve read a couple of books in your Days series. D’Aren a very complex character and even I had to admit, I wondered why in the hell was she still with Master when it wasn’t clear He was just as devoted to her as she was to Him. (I’m referring to the part re the canceled vacation.) Can you explain the mindset behind her devotion to Master?
Her devotion to Master should be like any slave’s devotion: deeper than the skin. A lot of people hear Master and envision a man or woman with a willing and pliant subject that will do anything to please, and they are right. But they usually also envision that the Master will do anything to amuse themselves, think the Coming to America scene when Eddie meets his new queen, which is furthest from the truth. When one decides to dedicate all that they are to someone, to be used and molded and presented to One’s liking, they must understand they may not always like it. This is not all fun and games, it is work. And sometimes Masters will test to see how deep one’s devotion goes and the canceled vacation was a test…did it suck? Like a well paid stripper…was it to prove a point? Absolutely. Lord knows I don’t agree with everything my Master does, I don’t have to. I have to trust that everything He does is to my betterment and the betterment of this family. De’Aren had to learn that same lesson, granted a canceled vacation was minor and she should’ve kept her cool, I wanted to illustrate how sometimes life can suck for a slave. And I can’t say that De’Aren’s Master isn’t as dedicated to her as she to Him, it merely looks different.
Last question – Many people, like yourself, live and breathe BDSM 24/7. For those who are interested but don’t know where to start, what advice can you give them?
Read. Read until your eyes cross, and then, uncross them and read some more. Get out and into your local community and around some people who have done this longer than five minutes. Vet your ass off…vet often and vet thoroughly. There are a LOT of people coming up off the sidewalks talmout…yep…talmout LOL, they have been in the lifestyle for over 20 years and yet no one in the lifestyle has ever heard of them. Ever. Especially in the BDSM hot spots, LA, Vegas, the DMV, Atlanta, Florida, Texas…you’ve been participating in this lifestyle and no one, not one soul can vouch for your as a Master…or as a slave? Haul ass! Experienced Dominants and Masters, submissives and slaves come with a community behind them, no matter how small, to be able to vet with. They usually suggest people you should talk to to vouch for their character. If they cannot? Run…quickly.
This can be a great lifestyle for those of us that honor the traditions and protocol and rich history associated with it. It can be disastrous for those that think that what they see in porn is a way of life. Learn first, this lifestyle has been here for years…it’s not going to tuck its tail and run any time soon. Take your time.
Thank you to Areya for taking the time out of her very busy schedule to chat with me!
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