Sex and the Married Woman: Sex? What’s That?

For the past month or so, I’ve been pretty sick. It’s been pretty obvious on here and on my Facebook page where I’ve been inconspicuously quiet. What’s wrong with Vera? Stomach problems galores. Found out through a series of testing, I also have a bladder infection, otherwise known as an UTI (urinary tract infection). That sounds delicious, doesn’t it? Every meal is accompanied with a nice wine glass filled with cranberry juice. Since I’m anti-prescription drugs, I like to take care of myself naturally. Easier that way.

Of course, it’s easier at times. At times I wonder why I don’t just get all Rush Limbaugh and be doped up as much as I can while still spew out bullshit. As you can tell, I’m feeling better.

He's one of two men on Earth that will make me close my legs permanently. The other is Glenn Beck.

But this wouldn’t be Sex and the Married Woman if my illness didn’t affect our sex life. Well, it didn’t but it didn’t. Obviously, intercourse is out of the picture until my stomach settles. But man, my husband has been in blow job and hand job heaven. He’s lucky he married someone who has a strong oral fixation.

Wow...that's pretty hot!

Now you’re probably wondering why would I still entertain the idea of any sexual play if I’m not feeling well? The answer is pretty simple. I’m feeling ill enough to not participate in strenuous activity but if I’m sitting down and using my husband as a makeshift Shake Weight, then it’s all good. A while ago, we bought a book on different types of hand jobs so it’s a win-win: I get to experiment on him while he gets to have his bald man cry (that was a Game of Thrones reference, btw…)

I wonder if that particular line helped him win the Emmy...

Now I have to put it out there: I’m the exception, not the norm. I’m not encouraging any woman to suck off their husband if they feel like they’re about vomit.  On the same tip, it wouldn’t hurt to show your man he still got it going on even though it’ll be a long time before he visits the Holy of Holies. He’ll appreciate it.

And there you have it,



One thought on “Sex and the Married Woman: Sex? What’s That?

  1. Rincewind says:

    well at least yr hubby is happy, and I agree, I actually had a moment where I was bad enough not to ‘perform’ but couldstill use my tongue so was slightly dismayed where my girlfriend was not way to happy that I was actually getting better 🙂

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