BDS&M II: Safe words and Impact Play

 

“Good girl,” He kissed her forehead. He reached down and grabbed the yellow scarf and turned her around. His lips brushed her earlobe. “We’re going to have safety words whenever we play. A safety word is something creative that doesn’t involve any form of ‘no’, ‘stop’ and ‘don’t.’ It’ll have to be something so outrageous I will have to stop if I’m going too far. Since you’re a novice to The Lifestyle, I’ve taken the liberty to give safety words for you. Green means you like what I’m doing and want to keep going. Yellow means you like what I’m doing but you’re almost at your limit. Red means I need to stop. Just like the traffic lights.”

“Yes, Master,” Mariana felt a growing desire inside her.

“So, let’s begin,” Scott slowly wrapped the scarf around Mariana’s head, covering her eyes. He tied it in the back. “How are you doing?”

“Green, Master.”

“Good girl. Now get on the bed.” He instructed and Mariana complied. He took off His clothes and unlocked the top drawer. He pulled out a heart-shaped paddle and a small box of Magnums. He walked over to the bed and joined Mariana. “Get on all fours.”

Mariana repositioned herself for a doggystyle position.  Scott kneeled behind her and rubbed her ass. “Are you comfortable?”

“Yes, Master.”

“Good.” He lifted the paddle and slapped it against Mariana’s ass. “Does it hurt?”

Mariana winced a little. The paddle did sting but it wasn’t very painful. She actually preferred the paddle as oppose to Scott’s hand. “No, Master.”

“Good girl.” Scott slapped it against Mariana’s ass a few more times. Her chocolate brown cheeks had a nice shade of rose to them now. “Slowly, get off the bed and wait for my next command.” He ordered.

****

Safe. Sane. Consensual. These are the three words that describe the BDSM lifestyle. Any and all play needs to be consensual to be enjoyed in a D/s relationship.

A key factor of BDSM play is safe words. Safe words are words used to determine the level and amount of play a Dom/me will give their sub. As you have seen by the above example, the traffic light system is popular. There’s no mistake what one means when you shout ‘Red!’ in the middle of play. While Scott and Mariana used three words, two safe words are standard: one to indicate you want to keep going but you’re almost at your limit and one to completely stop the play.

Safe words, albeit popular, are not necessary in some forms of BDSM. Anyone who tells you otherwise hasn’t been in the lifestyle that long. There are some incidences where safe words are not even allowed, such as extreme forms of sadomasochism play.  For the most part, however, safe words are recommended for any type of power play. Better to know where you stand and where your Dom stands.

Of course I can’t mention safe words without mentioning impact play. Impact play is when the sub (or bottom) is struck by the Dom (or top). Impact play comes in many forms but the most common one incorporates erotic spanking. The submissive is spanked either by bare hands, a cane, flogger, or other items. I’ve heard of subs being spanked with rulers, shoelaces and sandals. Impact play usually occurs in BDSM play as a little extra (re spanking during oral sex or a sexual position) or it can occur in the form of discipline to instill values and rules within the sub to please their Dom.

I, for one, prefer the paddle. One, it’s soft. Two, it doesn’t have the same stinging impact as a bare hand. Anything else, I’m not sure if I’m ready for. Not sure if I want the Mr. to beat my ass with shoelaces.

Isn't that cute?

I do encourage you, the reader, to incorporate a little spanking into your sexual activities. Spank your partner and have your partner spank you. You just might discover either you’re sub or a Dom/me.

And there you have it,

-V.