Sex and the Married Woman: How Do Parents Have Sex?

I don’t trust people who don’t have kids or pets. They’re just weird. – Poster on a message board.

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One thing that never ceases to amaze me is hearing my married friends still get it on when they have kids. Okay, not actually hearing them but hearing their stories. You have to make sex with a priority, Vera, they always tell me, Or you’ll never get laid. Being married does put sex on an interesting priority level. You go from ‘Hey honey, let’s do it!’ to ‘Hey, honey…wanna do it?’ to ‘Hey honey, do we have time to do it?’ to ‘Hey honey, when’s the last time we’ve done it?’

Recently, Mr. K. and I adopted a young tabby kitten, Sushi (I tend to name my pets after favorite foods). When we adopted her, Sushi was about 2 ½ months old, which is the equivalent to a toddler in human years. And she most certainly acted like one, let me tell you. She sleeps with us, always follows us throughout each room of our spacious apartment and when she can’t find us, she will go looking for us. In fact this morning, because she couldn’t find Mr. K., she meowed until he came back home. What can I say? She loves her daddy.

Can you blame her? Look how adorable she is:

However, her presence has impacted our sex life. For one, we’re usually exhausted by the time we go to bed because we spent the last portion of our evening playing with her. We bought her a bed – a nice one, mind you – and she refuses to sleep in it. Actually, correction: she’ll sleep in the bed but only if one of my wigs is in there. (My cat’s weird!) But back to the main topic of this blog: our sex life. For the first few days, we acted like parents. We would close the door to get our freak on and come out to an unsuspecting Sushi. After a while we decided it was kinda silly so we just left the door opened.

Hmm…not sure if that was a good idea.

The other night when we were having sex, Sushi was on the bed with us. We decided to do it under the covers because we didn’t want to have cat hair all over us. I doubt that would’ve made a difference. When Maks was on top of me, Sushi kept attacking his booty because it was moving.  When I was sucking him off, Sushi kept playing with my head. Hmm…we might have to go back to closing the door.

Now, we don’t regret adopting our little furbaby; she’s actually taught us how to be better people. She’s also great practice for when we do become pregnant and expand our family. But she also taught us a great lesson: we need to keep our door closed to get our freak on.

We’ll figure this out one way or another. Cats have a long lifespan.

And there you have it,

-V.

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