The Art of Anal II with Rachel Miller

Hello my lovelies, dahlings, and freaks,

Part II to the Art of Anal mini-series continues today with another wonderful blog post from the lovely Rachel Miller. For a refresher, please click here for Part I.


Sometimes the Only Way into the Party is through the Backdoor

Yep, we’re talking backdoor loving ladies!

Women can and many do enjoy anal sex.

Shocking isn’t it?

I know the above statement is fact because I am one of those women and as someone who talks to people about their sex lives all the time (it’s my job) I can promise you that I’m not alone. These women I know are not porn stars, or the town slut, bar flies or whores. These are every day women just like you. They’re wives, girlfriends, fiancés, moms, teachers, cashiers, professionals and might even be your best friend or next door neighbor.

Whether you’re reading this because the idea of anal sex is intriguing or because the man in your life sent you this link, it’ time to face a couple of truths….

#1- Next to a three some, sticking it in your butt is the #1 fantasy of most hetero guys

#2 -Your guy is going to ask you for it. Repeatedly.

You need to stop trying to understand it, stop being offended by it and stop being grossed out by it.

Let’s just all agree to accept it. Accept it like you accept the fact that he will fall asleep immediately after sex and he’ll never remember to put the toilet seat down.

Now I want you to take this acceptance one step further. I want you to seriously consider giving your guy what he wants.

Yes, I said I want you to seriously consider trying anal sex.

“But Rachel……” I can already hear you saying…..

“My butt is an exit only zone!”

“There is NO way I’m putting anything THERE!”

“It’s nasty, dirty and disgusting”

“I tried it once and it hurt like hell!”

“Only gay guys and porn stars take it in the butt.”

Yeah, yeah, the excuses go on and on and they’re all ridiculous.

You never know whether or not you like something until you try it.

And when I say try it I mean go into the experience with an open mind and a willingness to enjoy it.

I mean, really? Would people be doing it as often as they do if it didn’t feel good? I sure as hell wouldn’t..

For me, the #1 rule in sex is to try everything at least TWICE.

In fact with anal sex, I suggest giving it at least three chances before you decide it’s not for you. I say this because often it takes a few times to get it right. Sometimes it’s not the act but the person you try it with. It might be the position you tried or you’re still a tad nervous or maybe you didn’t use enough lube or there wasn’t enough foreplay. (Lube and foreplay are not optional when going on back door adventures people!!) Any or all of these can lead to an unsuccessful, unenjoyable anal excursion.

Believe it or not it is possible to develop a liking for certain sexual experiences after you become more comfortable with them.  Remember too, that just because something feels strange or uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s painful – there’s a difference.

I realize anal sex isn’t for the faint of heart and yes, it can sometimes get a little messy but I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how good it does feel when it’s done right. I know I was. Your anus has a very high concentration of nerve endings and can be an extremely erogenous zone if you allow it to be.

I’m not saying it will ever be your favorite type of sexual activity or that you need to engage in it every time you have sex. In fact you may find, like I did, that you go through a phase of loving it and then other times when it you can take it or leave it but it is absolutely something you should explore and give a chance. I promise your guy will thank you and you’ll give yourself the chance to experience an orgasm like no other because….

There ain’t no party like a backdoor party!

Think you might ready to party via the back door? Be sure to check out “Slipping In & Out the Backdoor: Anal Play 101


Rachel Miller is executive producer and co-host of “Living With the Lights On,” the leading Internet show on sex, dating and relationships. She helps women to not only talk about sex, but to have better sex, through her “night” job as an Independent Business Associate of For Your Pleasure, Inc. Feel free to contact her at Follow her on Twitter and check out her blog Risqué Business.

5 thoughts on “The Art of Anal II with Rachel Miller

  1. Rincewind says:

    I love these articles Rachel (and Vera). They are just brilliant. I’ve only tried it once with my then girlfriend but she loved it but anyone who is thinking about it, lube lube for god sake…

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