Sex and the Married Woman: Party at the ER

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

– Winston Churchill

They say you never truly know how strong your relationship is until one of you has gone through a life-altering experience and you pull through it. Well, Maks and I have gone through the following: a lay-off, brush fires, long-distance relations, and familial problems that weren’t our own. We also had a couple of family deaths in the meantime. Of course, nothing could prepare us for what we both went through over the weekend: my first trip to the ER via ambulance! Woot!

I can honestly say this is pretty accurate.

I kid about the experience now but in all due respect, it was very scary. I’ve been battling stomach flu all last week (which explains the lack of postings and comments on other blogs). Everything was fine, so I thought. I was in the process of getting better and Saturday I felt like I could do jumping jacks. Well, I say that facetiously; I was able to walk with minimum pain. And then the strangest thing happened on Sunday: I was completely debilitated.

Let’s see, I had a fever, my heart rate was through the roof, and I could barely walk without crouching over in excruciating pain. Sounds like a party, doesn’t it? A quick call to 911 and I was in my first ambulance ride to the nearest hospital. The funniest thing happens when you’re in an ambulance: you look up at the lights and hear the EMTs (Emergency Medical Teams) talk to you and trying to keep you, well, alive and coherent but you honestly don’t understand what the hell is going on. All you know is you’re in pain, you’re going in and out of consciousness, and in the back of your mind, you’re wondering if this is really the end?  Ambulance rides, by the way, are very fast. If you think they’re in a rush while you’re pulled over, try being inside of one. I thought I was going to fall off the gurney a few times.

I quickly got a hefty dose of morphine and next thing you know, I’m floating. I can honestly see why people get addicted to morphine; that shit is awesome!

Yep, it's that's awesome.

So roughly 10 minutes later, I arrive at the ER and I quickly get the checked in and Maks fills out the necessary paperwork. And then we wait. A nurse comes in for the urine test and then we wait. We get escorted down for an ultrasound and then we wait. We get the ultrasound results back (which for privacy reasons, I won’t share but they’re not too bad and for most part, I’m pretty healthy otherwise) and we wait again. A technician comes in and tries very hard to find a vein in my arms and is not too successful, despite me and Maks telling him he was doing it wrong. I hate it when people don’t listen! He finally found a vein in my hand, which really fucking hurts!

Unfortunately, he was not my ER doctor. Damn TV fiction!

And then we wait. Five hours after we arrived at the ER, we finally get the go-ahead to go home and I spent the latter part of my Easter Sunday camped out on my couch. Fun times.

However, the point of this post isn’t to have you relive my wonderful ambulance trip with me; it’s to show the power of love. Maks really came through for me and demonstrated a strength when I was too weak to have one. Truth to be told, he saved my life this weekend and it’s not something that’s light on me. Anyone can love you; not everyone is willing to save your life. (This, I have to point out, is directed to the singles. Marriage is so much more than a piece of paper).

So I’m back home, resting. I’m still battling my head cold and I hope to be 100% by the end of this week finally. Being this sick sucks so bad but you know what, I’m alive and all thanks to my husband. That is pretty fucking cool.

And there you have you have it,


7 thoughts on “Sex and the Married Woman: Party at the ER

  1. Chantale Reve says:

    Major props to your Maks! Talk about a good man — he’s a great one! And I’m so relieved, as we all are, to hear that you are on the mend. Who would think that the stomach flu can take that kind of (down)turn? I, for one, never knew, but your post is stored in my memory should I ever get similar symptoms while I think I have a cold.

    I see you didn’t lose your humor even while not completely recuperated. That photo caption under George Clooney’s picture is so funny. Yeah, I’d be thinking the same; he’s the only reason I viewed “ER” past the first season.

    God bless you.

    Please continue to heal. We want you back on The Intoxication to read your sexy and sensual thoughts. You are missed!

  2. Sarah says:

    Glad you’re doing better, hon. I was worried when I didn’t see you online much.

    Maks is something else. Glad you have such an awesome man in your life!!

    • veraroberts says:

      I’ve just been really sick lately and it’s so weird. But not pregnant; they took all those tests at the hospital. I have a follow-up with my OB/GYN next week so I’ll keep you posted on any other developments.

  3. IzaakMak says:

    Sounds like my last bout with my diet-induced pancreatitis (kinda rare), where I collapsed while being admitted to one hospital, vaguely remember a painful and bumpy ambulance ride to somewhere, and woke up three and a half weeks later in a different hospital – in a different city! But I did learn the joys of Demerol – the best 5 seconds ever! And the alternate reality that I was eventually snatched back from was pretty cool too!

    I’m so glad you had Maks looking out for you. You’ve both passed an important test, and I hope that you’ll grow even closer for having come through it so well! 😀

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