Filed Under WTF?: Disturbing Sex Toys

I love sex toys just because how much they can enhance a couple’s sex life. But some of these….um, I dunno…

 

 

I know some of us have foot fetishes but this is a tad ridiculous...

 

 

I guess if I wanted to 'Fuck You,' there's a literal device for that.

 

 

 

You know...I really don't know what to say to this...

 

 

 

Um....hmm....

 

But the creme de la creme goes to (with accompanying story):

 

LEXINGTON PARK, Md. — Some sexual experimentation landed a southern Maryland woman in a hospital with injuries tough to imagine and even more difficult to forget.

Maryland State Police airlifted the 27-year-old woman to Prince George’s County Hospital Center early Sunday morning after she was injured in an incident involving a sex toy attached to a saber saw blade, TheBayNet.com first reported.

The man who called 911 about the incident admitted attaching the sex toy to the saw and then using the high-powered, homemade device on his partner, according to the St. Mary’s County Sheriff’s Office.

The saw cut through the plastic toy and wounded the woman, according to TheBayNet.com. The injuries were severe enough for medevac, but the woman was released from the hospital Monday and is recovering from her unusual injuries.

Investigators talked to the woman, who told them she suffered the injuries during a consensual act and that she and her partner were trying something new and no crime was committed, the sheriff’s office said.

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As a woman, I can’t even imagine those injuries. I’m crossing my legs just thinking about it. Yikes!

 

3 thoughts on “Filed Under WTF?: Disturbing Sex Toys

  1. Chantale Reve says:

    Ms. V, your photo captions have me crying laughing over here, number one. As a former editor, I can say that I, too, would’ve had a field day with the captions as you did. Thumbs up (but not meant as a double “F*** you”).

    Number two, and not scatalogically speaking, photo #1 will give me nightmares for months to come.

    Number three, I’ve got a related story in connection with that article about the saw/sex toy. (And what a sicko idea that is, but, as IzaakMak wrote above: yes, to each his own.) OK, here’s the story: I was viewing “The Steve Harvey Project” recently, and Steve was commenting on a phoned-in response to a letter he had read from the “E-mail Bag.” The caller suggested that the e-mail’s sender introduce sex toys into her lifeless marriage to add spice, etc.

    At first Harvey riffed on the sexual-aid idea in his usual, hilarious way and warned that if the woman got too dependent on a vibrator, she might not need her husband anymore. For example, he impersonated the husband yelling for his wife from their bedroom while she’s taking a shower. Then, in the voice of the wife, Harvey shouted back: “Stay out there!”

    But then, Harvey steered his joke so far off left field that I had to stop eating my dinner. Harvey’s female sidekicks on his televised morning radio show (Shirley and Carla) had guffawed when he was impersonated a vibrator, but they cringed when his voice morphed into a lawnmower and then a chainsaw. When the ladies reminded him that he was mimicking a chainsaw instead of a vibe, he commented that maybe that’s what some women are into. Hearing that, I stopped laughing and I crossed my legs so intensely that they wrapped around my back.

    What’s next with these sex toys? Remote-controlled stun guns to zap women into seizures for that ultimate orgasm? I’d like to keep thinking of “la petite mort” as a delightful French metaphor, not a literal near-death experience. If I want the latter, I’d rather make like Philippe Petit between two telephone poles than giving over all control of my hoohah.

  2. IzaakMak says:

    Okay, the first ones were pretty darn weird, but to each his own I guess. However, I’m crossing my legs at the last one too, and I’m a man! Hey, if they can lock you up for attempting suicide, then there most certainly should be something to cover this! 😯

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