Sex and the Married Woman: My Creative Valentine

I love Valentine’s Day. I always have. I think Valentine’s Day is just a romantic day. I guess I’m just a romantic at heart and love the idea of being in love and all that entails, good or bad. Plus, I can get a great deal on a box of chocolates and roses the day after. But while I love Valentine’s Day, I’m also pretty frugal. I don’t believe in spending a lot of money just for one day; there’s my birthday, anniversary and Christmas that follow. But as much of a romantic I am, I also believe in a bit of decorum. For example, I think it’s cheesy to propose on Valentine’s Day. My suggestion? Do it the day before. I don’t think you should be with someone you hate because you hope to get at least a card. Dump that person and treat yourself to a little something. I’m a romantic, yes, but mama didn’t raise a fool.

I have noticed a disturbing trend amongst my married and coupled-up friends, though. It seems like they don’t really celebrate Valentine’s or they go all out like the Earth is about to collapse the next day. (Right here, I would insert a WTF? smiley but I don’t want to waste space). It makes me wonder one key point: Is Valentine’s Day kryptonite for married couples?

You have to admit this is pretty creative....

Being married is expensive; hell, being in a relationship is expensive. You have the following in no particular order: Your birthday, your partner’s birthday, Christmas, your dating anniversary, your married anniversary (if it’s different), and depending on the religion, you might have another holiday to give and exchange gifts. So to be honest, I can see why a lot of couples forgo Valentine’s Day, especially if any anniversaries are around the same timeframe. Not to mention it’s approximately 51 days between Christmas and Valentine’s Day. If you went all out on your partner for Christmas, you’re still recovering by the time Valentine’s rolls by to do it all over again. That shit can get expensive in a hurry.

This is called Sex and the Married Woman so it’s imperative I give a personal example. Well, we celebrated Valentine’s Day but we just didn’t do it any old way. We started on Friday night and had the entire weekend to celebrate. I made homemade dinners each night and gave my husband a foot rub on Sunday. Plus, we had plenty of unbridled, spank-my-ass-and-pull-my-hair-daddy sex which was always a bonus. And to top the weekend off, we went to Disneyland on Valentine’s Day. I told my husband what was the point of him spending all that money on a fancy dinner, roses, and chocolates when we both can spend a great day going on rides. (By the way, Captain EO still kicks ass 25 years later).


You see, we’re a bit different from other married couples. We celebrate Valentine’s Day all year-long. I can’t tell you the number of times I have come home and see two dozen roses waiting for me just because. Another example is how my husband will write ‘I love you’ in soap on our bathroom mirror. When I go shopping, I tend to spend more time in the men’s section to see what else I can buy for my husband. We don’t need one day to go out and spend a ton of money just to say how much we love each other; we show each other all time without so much spending five dollars.

Now I have to re-state this as I have in previous SAMW posts: I’m not a married expert. I’m not going to share infinite wisdom of the perils and wonders of married life when I’m still considered to be a newlywed. But as a person who had been in many relationships before I got married, I think I’m an expert on what is romantic and what’s a waste of time and money. I encourage all of the single readers of The Intoxication to be your own Valentine year-round. Take one night per week and just be your own date. It doesn’t have to be an all-night thing; one hour will more than suffice. You might find out you’re a pretty kick-ass person. Anyone who dates you will just solidify that discovery.

As far as the coupled-up, be romantic all the time. It doesn’t have to be flowers or candy; a nice massage is super romantic and very sexy. Leave a little love note where you know they’ll see it. It’s the time your partner least expects you to be romantic is when you’ll make the biggest impact. I can guarantee you it’ll work.

And there you have it,