Sex and the Married Woman: Natural Birth Control, Pt. II

When we last left off, I was starting to talk about the natural birth control method and some of the basic functions of it. (See Sex and the Married Woman: The Natural Birth Control, Pt. I for a refresher). Now I’m going to fill you in on how this new method is working for us. So far, it’s working pretty well. Of course, I would be lying out of the crack of my ass if I said there weren’t some challenges.

For starters, I have to take my Basal Body Temperature (BBT) every day. That’s the temperature I take when I first wake up and before I even get out of bed. I’ve learned I could do it either orally or vaginally. Personally, I don’t like the idea of sticking anything in my muffin that’s not a BOB (battery-operated boyfriend) or my husband so taking my temperature orally was the way to go. I stick the digital thermometer in my mouth and wait for it to do its business and then I chart the temperature like the below example:

From there, I proceed with my day. That’s the easy part. Here’s where it gets interesting: I also have to chart on when I can’t have sex. You see, part of the whole charting thing is I can determine when are my most fertile days if I want to get pregnant and what days to avoid if I don’t want to be knocked up. A woman’s cycle lasts between 24-35 days, with the first day of full red flow being Cycle Day (CD) 1. Now if a woman wants to get pregnant, she would usually ovulate between CD 12-16. If a woman, like Yours Truly, does not want to get pregnant, I have to either avoid having sex on those days (yeah, right) or I have to find a birth-control method during that time.

On top of taking my temperature, I also have to check my cervix, which means I either have to finger myself (really, it’s not that sexy) or I have to see if there’s any fluid on my thong panties (okay, that might be a little sexy) and then do the cervical fluid test: whether it’s dry, looks like egg-white, or creamy like lotion. Once I figured out what it is, I then chart that. My cervical fluid and my temperature will almost always tell me if I’m in my fertile state, which means Maks and I need to use birth-control barriers like condoms or abstain altogether. It sounds complicated, but really, it’s not. Everything I’ve mentioned takes up at the most, 10 minutes a day and I’m being pretty generous with that figure.

So, you’re probably wondering how’s the waiting to have sex part coming along? Hah. You know they say absence makes the heart grow fonder? Well, I’m pretty sure they weren’t referring to sex. You see, I’m a pretty sexual and sensual person. I like sex. I love sex. A lot of it, actually. Now, I’m not the type who gets depressed and all paranoid when I don’t get it. I don’t get all stupid, either.

However, when I do have sex, I kinda want to have more of it. It’s like Lay’s Potato Chips; you can’t just have one. Since this is Cycle #3, we’re still adjusting to the no-sex on certain days thing. Granted, it’s only 4-5 days. However, it’s also 4-5 days on top of an additional 5 days when I have my menses. It’s a bit of an adjustment for both. We might have to resort to just using a condom for those days.

You might be wondering why should I go through all that trouble to have natural birth control when all I can do is pop in a daily Pill? Well, I’m undergoing a natural and healthier lifestyle. Hardly anything processed and fried will enter this body (notice how I said hardly; I’ll still enjoy my occasional French fries and onion rings). I’ll take drugs when I feel it’s necessary but if there’s a non-drug alternative, I’ll do that first. Even my cleaning products are natural (a dizzy spell caused by Pine-Sol convinced me to change).

Le sigh. The things a person will do when they want a healthier lifestyle.

And there you have it,